Anyone else?!?

I have been having a bad time lately. I am not sure what my deal is lately but I can not get out of this funk. It is like I am soooo tired of crying that I have turned into this blah, negative, sad, miserable thing. I hate it but I don't know how to make it stop. I try to put on a happy face

for the day but the smallest thing gets under my skin. Cody keeps asking me what's wrong, did

he do something, am I mad at him....I can't answer him. I don't know what to say. Yes, No, Not really, I don't know. It's not him, but it is. It is everything. But what do I do.

I am tired of not being a priority, in anyone's life, not even to me. My kids come first, then I

worry about my hubby. Why not me? What happened to me? It is like I have no friends, no life. I am alone, always alone. No one around to listen or to care. Every one is tooo busy. I mean I get it, the boys take A LOT of my time but come on.....am I REALLY that MEAN, that bitchy, that

horrible to be around?!? I know that I tend to be on the negative side, which I hate about my self and would LUV to change, but come on!!!

I feel lonely, alone, ugly, fat, a failure, friendless, loveless, horrible mother & rolemodel, emotionless, tired...soooo tired, useless..............I don't think that I need to go on. U get

the point. Nothing is right, all is wrong.

What am I supposed to say to try to explain something that I don't even know, it just is.

Thanks for listening even if it doesn't make sense. I'm not sure that I even get it.

I need.....hell if I knew what I needed I would get it!!!!

Prayers

As most of you know, on Friday one of our Best Friends,Matt, lost his GF unexpectedly. Today we went to the viewing and though I did not know her she was obviously loved by many. She started her career as a teacher in Keller and continued her education and received her masters and for the last 3 years was a school counselor in SL.
Matt & Melissa met in 2007 on eharmony. Though it was not a relationship that I truly understood it was 'their' relationship. And seeing my friend in pain, with suffering in his eyes, with unanswered questions kills me. Matt is such a wonderful, caring & giving guy that it seems sooo unfair. She was only 29 and to think that she was just here and now she is gone is still a hard concept for me to grasp. You just never know what is going to happen or when it might happen. So call the ones you love and say Hello, you might not get the chance later. Make time for that friend that you always say you are going to make time to see but something always comes up. Fold the laundry later and take an extra 5 minutes to play with your kids.l

GOD BLESS!!!

Thanks Jennifer! He loves to be able to draw and not get into trouble

when he goes off of the pad..hehe!

I love this thing. I NEVER look at toys n things,

cause my house is being over run with them so I enjoy such inventive gifts

as this. Not messy but yet VERY enjoyable.

Thanks Again!

Girlfriends Rock!!

The Girls

Me, Trisha & Lynn

Yesterday I met Lynn & Trisha for lunch to celebrate

my birthday....late yes but I was out of town(once again!).

We went to Cozumel's in Grapevine and can I just say it was FABuLOUS! We had Guacamole, which I could NOT stop eating-YUM! As Lynn & I were walking in we both thought that Margaritas sounded YUMO. We couldn't decide on which one we wanted and Lynn discovered the "sampler" It came with 5 samples of their different margaritas in this bridge type of thingy. They were soooo good!

Can I just say that them girls went overboard!!! OH MY!!!! Lynn made me several

gifts; desk organizer, lrg paper clip, mini-book and a beautiful card. She also bought

me a coffee stamp set, the most fabulous owl pillow...which Cayden confiscated

from me as soon as he saw it. Then Colton had to get his hands on it...later they were whining over it so I had to take it back for myself...darn! Trisha made me a HUGE

'S' covered in metal....I LUV! and soooo many other wonderful things.

Lots of goodies!

It is great to be surrounded by such wonderful

women. And to know that they luv me despite ALL of my

flaws just ROCKS and makes me feel good inside.

So thank you girls! I love you! And feel
so privileged to be friends with such
beautiful souls!


God Bless!

CONFESSION!!!

I have to confess......that I did not understand the 'obsession' of The Twilight Series in the beginning. My lil' sis saw Twilight in the theater and said how great n wonderful it was. I wasn't convinced but all the gals kept talkin bout it and i felt left out so I finally gave in. so when it came out on DVD I bought it, which for me is sooooo out of the ordinary. After watching it, I still didn't really get it. I thought that it was ok, but what was ALL the hype about? I wasn't sure. I guessed that I was to OLD for all all this. have never been much of a reader despite my desire to be. I was very impressed with myself to complete this series. I am holding twilight in my hands trying not to re-read them. I can not believe that my self. I am sooooo busy, I don't have time to re-read something!! But I cant help but keep WANTING to do so. I don't' necessary like them in real life like the rest of the world, but I never did fit in. But I am in LOVE with the LOVE, the love that they both have for Bella. I don't believe in "soul mates" but I am married to my BF. Which is Jacob in my eyes. I would love to believe in Edward but I just think that he is an self absorbed azz! I know that people are going to hate me for that.....oh well.
xoxoxo

TEAM JACOB.....

....in case anyone wondered!!!!!!!

Twilight Fan

I have been watching the new moon clips that I have found online tonight and more so than before I think that christine (sp) is messed up. She looks messed up. I dont know that is just my persection. I love all of the characters and cant wait for the new moon but she just seems messed up. is it just me? I am pretty judgemental for the most part but I dont think that i have this one wrong. I am feeling bad for her, i just want to hug her and make her better.